Tuesday, May 27, 2014

New wave...


i did not post anything the last weeks because of lack of time and something else. I just did not want me to dress me as a woman s often, it was only occasional. I already posted a few thoughts about the waves of dysphoria. The interesting thing is the last wave ended beginning of may but now i feel that the next wave is coming. the very first time it is only a short time between the waves. So the time to think about the whole situation and what options i have is coming closer. and i am pretty sure that this wave will be very intensive and my demand to be a woman will increase. But this is typically for dysphoria. What should i think about? Just an example. For the last weeks i only dressed at home as a woman, but only in the evening and in the morning.

But now i dress myself when i come back to the hotel and i feel that it is just great. and i want to dress me as a woman the whole day, i watch woman very closely, what they wear, what they do, how they talk, ow they behave.I know that at some point it will be tougher to switch from man to woman and back and it will be difficult for me to deal with the whole situation. It is really a mess that i do not have time to go to the therapist before mid of july and that she won't be in the office the whole august, but i think i can deal with it.

But actually i wanted to write about something i've read today. It is about how to become a woman. What are the specific things about it? First of all and this is actually the first issue i have to solve is how i dress myself that this is exactly the way want to present myself in public. So the authors proposal is to walk through shopping streets or centers and just watch woman how they are dressed like, about their figure and if you find somebody who is close to your own figure then just check what they wear, how they behave etc. i think it has something to do with authentic identity. So it starts from the breasts, that they fit to the whole body and to the average of female breasts. Usually transgender tend to take bigger silicon breasts than an average woman has natural breasts. As i do but i like them very much. whenever i wear them at home it feels so great. But if i am on my usual trips i have smaller ones and they feel good as well. but it is a difference.

The send issue is how i dress myself. I tend to wear mini rock, high heels, corsets and this beautiful stuff, but an average woman does not. So the author recommends to wear female but not to sexy stuff. Ok if you like to be a prostitute then this dress is great, but not for an average woman. So if you want to be noticed as a woman then it is important to wear the dresses other woman with the same figure does at well. i know two places for type counseling for transgender and as soon as i have time i will go to this place and hope that i will get a really good type counseling.

The next thing are what about the wig, the make up, the hiding of typical male body things. By the way i really don't like it, because it interferes my wish to become a woman.

The lesson i learned today is that i will continue to watch and learn and find my own dress style.

by the way a very last remark for today. yesterday i spend the day in meetings with a beautiful woman, she was dressed in a fantastic way and all i wanted was just to try it by myself how i looks like i this dress. it was just great.

So have a great time and i will post soon something more.


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