the response

The response by the therapist

I spent the weekend as much as possible as a woman, i really love it. Sunday afternoon it was time again to take the train to the other city and so i decided to wear feminine underwear again. It just felt good.

But now to the answer by the therapist, which i really like:

Your description of your temporary discomfort against your native gender and the demand to live in another gender sounds very familiar to me. For the most of my clients this process of searching for the gender which fits with their own identity is not straight, but in stages.

There are always times, in which the pulse to change the gender is controverted and suppressed. But at the same time the demand to live in a way to satisfy the own gender feeling grows and the more somebody lives this way the stronger the demand will grow. A lot of the clients reflecting a possible transition are in their 40ies.

Shr would offer you a appointment for a first contact, but she is booked out the next 8 month.

So how i deal with this? First of all she confirmed two things i noticed in the last months

- the feeling to be in a wrong gender grows stronger the more i fight against it
- This feeling is coming in stages.

The third thing is that at least people in my age reflecting this issue and think about transition as i do.

The offer for an appointment indicates that it is not in illusion my female side have. It is reality. And the more i say no stop it, it is just an illusion the reaction is much stronger. Actually, to be honest, i noticed the same.

So she recommended me to contact another self help group and i will do this.